Secret Project REVEALED + Report Cards

 

One of the things I’ve been busy with is this, I can now tell you about it, YAY! I am a 2012 Log Your Memory Design Team member! That means I have some layouts published in this year’s memory logbook! Click on the picture above to find out more! I have two layouts published in the book. I wrote blog posts for Log Your Memory the weeks that my layouts are featured, so I’ll link you up those days. This is a really cool project, you should all check it out! There are two books, one with just the weekly challenge ideas, and one that works like a planner. So you can get them combined or separately. The challenges are different from what you might be used to as well, they really make you think. Any questions, please feel free to ask. I’m all about this project!

Genny and Atha both got their progress reports the last few days. Everybody’s doing great, of course. Next week I’ll have their parent teacher conferences, so I’ll have more info then. We all know already that Gen’s transitioning to the regular PreK classroom after the holidays. OH and I got a book in the mail today. On the day that I blogged about Gen transitioning, I got a really nice comment from Dr. Lucy Jane Miller, who wrote a book called Sensational Kids about Sensory Processing Disorder. I am looking forward to reading this, since her sensory processing issues are among the most troubling. Hopefully I get a window of time to sit down with it.

Anyway. Atha. Some of you may remember how her PreK teacher told me that Atha was the most gifted child she had ever taught. But the principal minimized it, refused to test her. Then, last year her kindergarten teacher kind of put her in her own little program. Atha had independent reading modules she’d do, and she also used to assist in leading lessons from time to time. I think they did some preliminary testing for the gifted program, but Atha has her own agenda, she would much rather spend time creating than testing, and I guess she just was more interested in telling stories than in following instructions. I do think that Atha is gifted. I tested off the charts in some areas, Quinn is definitely gifted, although his desire to do exactly as much as required but no more caused him to artfully work around being identified or tested for his whole elementary school career. I have a theory that Genny is gifted, which is why she is so good at doing some things. I think that if her corpus callosum was intact, we’d be having the same discussions with her teachers that we had with Atha’s preschool teachers.

Now, sometimes I feel like people think I’m being, you know, full of myself when I talk about my gifted kids. But I don’t see it this way. I just see it as an attribute. Like somebody is good at sports, or is tall, or has thick hair. Or likes macaroni and cheese. I see it that way. My dad’s side of the family were all smart (but loony) and my mom is no slouch. I just think that I carry a gene or something. Hopefully I don’t carry that loony gene. Although, chances are…

SO anyway, I’m going to ask about that at the meeting next week. Blah. I’m not really looking forward to the meetings, but you gotta do etc etc.

Speaking of “dumb things I gotta do today,” the girls are bumping and bouncing around upstairs, and they should be in bed. I’d better go attend to bidness.

Where’s Atha?

I took this picture yesterday, and I love it. It’s poignant, and moving. There’s Genny, way off in her own little world, all alone, sucking her thumb… it’s sweet and it’s sad and it’s just a neat photo. I love it.

But where’s Atha?

Poor Atha. She had a great report card. She’s mastered almost everything, making great progress in everything else, smart, sweet, loving, creative, with a strong sense of right and wrong. Yet she’s not the baby, and she doesn’t have “special needs” although, everybody has special needs, right? Nobody’s needs are ordinary, or general, we all need what we need. We are all unique, each with unique needs. Sometimes I feel like Atha gets left in the dust just a bit.

Problem is, it’s not like I have a lot of time to spend individually with the kids. I’d love to do that. When Vince is home, we definitely make a point of that. Before he left, he took Genny to a ball, just the two of them. Then, a couple of weeks later, he took Atha camping. And I suppose Girl Scouts is just Atha’s thing. Still, I think it’s important to celebrate each of our children, because each of them is awesome.

Here’s an example. Last night, when I was saying goodnight to her, I asked Atha if she knew how much I love her. She pretended to think for just a minute, and then she said, “I cannot even estimate that number; it’s too big.”

See? Awesome!

Cautiously Optimistic?

Gen’s birthday is November 28th, so it is in November that we have the distinct pleasure of her IEP meeting. That sounds a lot more snarky than it really is; Gen’s IEP meeting has never been a big problem. For those of you not in the know, an IEP, or Individualized Education Plan, is the official document for your special needs child’s academic year. It states all of the goals for the year, and designates how many hours are going to be devoted to meeting those goals, and how it’s all gonna play out. It’s a legal document. Certain people must be present. Also, the parent can dispute it, and can request that it be modified at any time. We’ve never had a problem with Gen’s, mostly because she usually does pretty well, and almost always has the same general goals. Toilet training. Class participation. Fine motor skills. Gen has a lot of strengths, especially academically. She has a great memory for details, and loves to be read to, and most often likes to participate in crafty stuff. She usually doesn’t get angry with her classmates, and does a fairly good job of following her teacher’s instructions. Like many kids, she reserves her worst behavior for dear old Mom and dad, plus her siblings. Which is probably for the best, otherwise going out would be worse than it is already. Anyway, normally the annual meeting is just kind of a check the box affair.  But I got an email from her teacher today suggesting that we move her to the typically developing Preschool after Winter break. She’s been spending some time in the typical classroom next door, and is doing great. She will have special ed advisers for help with speech therapy and toilet training (which she’s actually doing great with lately, the switch finally seems to have flipped on that one!) and she will continue to have an IEP so that if she regresses she can transition back to special ed.

I’m happy, I really am! I’m excited! You want your kid to do their best, and you want them to have every possible opportunity. Let’s face it, there are more opportunities afforded to people who are educated within the typical classroom than in the special ed classroom, for the most part. This is not a comment on special ed. I have huge buckets of respect for most special ed teachers, and for the program Gen’s been in, and I give it a big thumbs up. But what I mean is that really truly most parents would prefer their children to be able to be in the regular classroom. Myself included.

However, I’m so torn. I’m nervous for her. I hope she’s ready. She’s been with her current teachers and most of the same students for at least two, some of them three, years now. Two of the little girls she likes most have Down’s Syndrome, and will likely not be moving into the typical classroom soon. This year, the special ed program at our local elementary school closed, and Gen’s bussed to a different school. Just so happens, that the typical classroom she has been visiting is also the classroom of Addie, who you may remember from yesterday’s post. When Gen transitions, she’ll be coming back to our local school. So she’ll have an unfamiliar teacher and a whole new crew of unfamiliar students. She’ll probably still be in a pull-up. There is every reason to believe that she will continue to grimace when she’s stressed out. She will probably still suck her thumb when she’s tired, or needs comfort. She will still have problems eating food that is touching other food, and she won’t like it when some cabinet doors are open but others are closed. She will continue to scream and hit when she gets confused, and I can’t see that she will stop being confused.

So am I happy she’s transitioning? Of course I am. And I think it’s a good thing she’s doing so now, in preschool, when kids are still learning the ropes of school, and are mostly non judgmental. When they still have potty accidents, and nobody is expected to be able to write his or her name. But I am a mom, and I’m protective, and I don’t want her to be made fun of, or ostracized, or otherwise bullied. I want her to be able to explore the wold in the way that feels safe for her. And I think she can probably do it. But, what if she can’t? Will she suffer if she “fails?” Because I wouldn’t see it as failure, but will she? Probably not. She’ll probably do just fine.

Which is why you could say I am cautiously optimistic.

Any comments anybody might have regarding this kind of transition would be super duper welcome. Thanks!

 

It Just Doesn’t Matter!

Say it with me! It just doesn’t matter! Even if I MADE unprocessed dinners for the month of October it wouldn’t matter because my kids would still eat school lunches and cheetos at their friend’s houses, and they are still going to go trick or treating soon, and will eat their weights in processed sugar! And they would probably die of whole wheat pasta and chicken toxicity anyway. IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!

I’ve given up on Unprocessed October for the time being. I’ve given up because I have enough to worry about, and the overabundance of obligations I have given myself has caused me to forget the things that DO matter. For instance, yesterday when I was stressing about iOS 5, and blogging, and what to make for dinner, I forgot Genny’s Occupational Therapy appointment… for the second time since Vince left. And the office called me and told me that they were putting Genny on the waiting list in favor of activating a client who will show up. I was so totally distraught because, if you remember from a few days ago, SHE NEEDS HER THERAPIES now more than ever. I called them back and begged them to keep us, and they agreed. But, you know, some things have got to go. And Unprocessed October is one of them.

I really enjoy blogging, though, so I do want to continue to blog most days. But I’m not going to force myself to do it every day, and I’m not going to limit myself to a specific topic.

So there you go.

Meanwhile, here’s something funny. Genny’s naked. Because she will pee in the potty if she is naked. This is HUGE to me!! She’s almost 5, and her toileting has been a huge concern. So any way to get her to respond to her body’s cues is fine with me. While we are at home, she can be naked.

On the other kids front, Wally wants to stand up SOOO BADDD! Check this out: Look at that sweet boy! Now look at this: Super happy and proud! See that giant shadow stage left? My big damn cat kept putting herself between me and Walt. And if you doubt her immensity, doubt no more: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. When Gravy sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!

Tomorrow we have the first real Girl Scout meeting with me as co-leader. Wish me luck! I’ll let you know how it goes.

Till then, remember.

IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!

I can’t write a food post tonight.

I made corkscrew pasta, tossed it with yellow squash puree, and served with it with the veggies MIXED RIGHT IN! The addition of the veggies TO the pasta was so befuddling to the kids that they ate the pasta, then they ate the veggies. Atha even ate some of the salmon I served as the protein. I was going to get on here and first say something witty about how tricky I am, perhaps I was going to paraphrase RUN DMC, and then I was going to whine for awhile about how I can’t get them to eat protein. But I’m not going to do that.

I’m frustrated. Yeah, frustrated with meal time, yeah yeah yeah. But I’m frustrated because I don’t know how to break through to Genny. Just now, she deliberately stepped on Walter, and then she tore the little library pocket off of one of Atha’s school library books. Of course I was completely upset when she stepped on the baby; she’s been hitting everybody all weekend, but hasn’t stomped anybody yet, that’s a new one. But, just, the sight of that little crumpled library pocket totally sent me over the edge. I don’t know what to do. She can be so impulsive, and I don’t know how to handle this with positive parenting. Or ANY parenting, since yelling doesn’t work, either. Ever since we got the Partial Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum diagnosis- no, since before that! Since we just knew she had a developmental delay, I’ve been asking miscellaneous experts and authority figures, “how do I parent this child?” I mean, I brought one child to adulthood, and he is still living, so I have that going for me. Then Atha came along, and despite a few normal parenting blunders I feel like I’m doing alright with her. She’s awesome.

Genny’s awesome, too, but just- AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! There was an autism seminar that I wanted to go to about visual learning in children with autism. I even signed up for it, but then I had to cancel because the time conflicted with Genny’s school. I couldn’t do both, so I opted for getting her to her special ed. And I don’t know exactly what that would have done for me anyway, autism isn’t even her primary diagnosis. But it was something!

I was worried that she would lose a lot of ground over the summer. She has problems when her routine changes. So I got all these referrals: occupational therapy, speech therapy, and psychotherapy to help with her behavior. Well, we went to the speech therapy twice a week, and now she doesn’t need it anymore. Still going to the occupational therapy, and she’s doing great: drawing representational drawings, and tracing the letters in her name, etc. But the psychotherapy, I think we went three times. It was at county mental health. Each time, the therapist would talk to Genny, then have all of us go hang out in a room. She advocated keeping a schedule, which I guess I could be better with. But the weird thing was we didn’t have set appointments, she would just call me after each appointment to schedule, and then after a few appointments she quit calling me. Right around then, Quinn came to visit, and Summer school started, and Genny was doing great. Now, I have no active referral and no therapy.

I guess I’m going to have to make an appointment with our primary care physician and get a new referral for therapy. What I really wish somebody would to is just to TELL ME HOW TO DO THIS! I don’t know how to parent a child who doesn’t understand consequences, or who’s impulses get the better of her, and who seeks sensation to the extent that she slams her body into things, and yanks on her sister’s hair. She doesn’t understand that she could seriously injure the baby, or her sister, or herSELF. And she doesn’t know how to keep her hands to herself. So at this point, my only option is to never, ever let her touch Walter unless she is being directly supervised, and he is, like, being held. Or, you know, made totally secure. Because she could just strike out at him, and do some serious damage.

This makes me so stressed out, because it means that when they are both home I can’t really do anything else. Such as blogging, or making dinner, or doing school work, or going to the bathroom.

Also, the stress is causing me to snap at the kids, and the tension can’t be good for anybody.

I love them. I love them so much, and I am constantly telling them that. Probably my greatest desire for the kids is that none of them ever doubts that he or she is loved, unconditionally. So I spend a lot of time hugging them, encouraging them, and telling them how much I love them. I also apologize when I screw up. I read to them, cuddle them, laugh with them, and I try to cook healthy food for them. I make sure they get exercise, and brush their teeth and keep them clean. But, I can’t help but feel like I am failing them all somehow.

Anyway, whatever, I’m sick of whine/writing. But this is my blog, and I guess I get to whine when I want to . So there you go. Whining.

And, damn, if anybody has any tips, I am all ears.